It has been two years since we shared the first same-sex relationship we ever had but it seemed like just weeks ago. I know I already have talked about all sorts of stories about us and all the emotions I had when we're together. Not until today that I realized I haven't moved on completely from you.
There was this one dawn when my bestfriend told me that he thinks we still love each other. I never reacted for I didn't know what to say. I was digging for answers inside my memories. Still I had no comment at that time. Several months passed. Your birthday came. Still I was thinking of that thought.
I slightly detached myself from every strand of connection or anything that would remind me of you to think everything over because I knew there's still something holding on to me. Until I answered my question. Yes, I still love you.
This came after thinking over my past two unsuccessful relationships after you. They never caught my love. I was ready then when they came but theirs never reached to the same point where we ended.
I know that this may sound so futile and pathetic but I never ceased to believe that we could be together after I ended everything. My breaking up from you was not actually intended to really break up but a stupid test I had in mind. I took the risk of losing you the moment I called it off. You obliged and never decided back.
I was in agony for several days and for the first time since 8 years ago, I cried. I cried for all the sad reasons in the world. I drank til I lost my sanity and just sleep it over. But every time I woke up, I was still in pain. All in all, ours never came easy but went away the hardest.
I just wanna say that I had been happy with you. You made me feel the best person in world.
Remember the song you sang? "There's a boy in my mind and he knows I'm thinking of him."
I wish you could still sing that song to me...
Right now, I'm letting go but not forgetting. I always remember. The pain never came back and only sweet memories. And every time I remember us, there's always a little smile in my lips.
Thank you.
More Love,
GB
P.S.
I know that ex's must not be befriended. I believe otherwise. Hope someday we can meet and date as friends, no malice whatsoever.
of course. In time. Thanks.
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